For THE Parents
Rugby, finally Explained
Rugby isn't as confusing as it looks!
If you've ever stood on the touchline with absolutely no idea why the referee blew the whistle, you're in very good company. Rugby looks like glorious chaos until someone explains it - so that's what this is. No jargon, no assumed knowledge, just the game made simple so you can enjoy watching your child play.
We'll cover the point of the game, how scoring works, the handful of rules that confuse everyone, and (importantly) why the rugby your child plays isn't the 15-a-side game you see on TV.
The point of the game (in 30 seconds)
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Two teams try to carry, pass or kick an oval ball over the other team's line and touch it down to score.
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The catch that makes rugby rugby: you can never throw the ball forwards. It only goes sideways or backwards between teammates. You move it forwards by running with it or kicking it.
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When you have the ball, you're attacking. Lose it, and instantly you're defending. That back-and-forth is the whole game.
How you score
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Try – 5 points. Grounding the ball over the opponent's try line. The big one.
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Conversion – 2 points. A kick at the posts, awarded after a try.
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Penalty kick – 3 points. A kick at the posts after the other team breaks a rule.
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Drop goal – 3 points. Kicking the ball through the posts during open play.
Worth knowing: at the youngest ages the score barely matters - many mini games don't keep score at all. It's about touching the ball, having a go and having fun, not the final tally.
The rules that confuse everyone (now they won't)
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Forward pass - throw the ball forward to a teammate and the ref stops play. The ball must travel backwards or sideways out of the hands. This is the one parents notice most.
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Knock-on - drop the ball forwards, or it bounces forward off your hand or arm to the ground, and that's a knock-on. Play stops. It's the most common whistle you'll hear.
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Offside - the gist: you can't be involved in play if you're in front of a teammate who last had the ball, and at set-pieces and tackles there are invisible lines you must stay behind. If a player gets pinged for offside, they were simply too far forward.
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The tackle & the "ruck" - when a ball-carrier is tackled to the ground, they must release the ball, the tackler must let go, and players from both sides bind together over the ball to contest it. That pile-up is a ruck. The rule of thumb: use it or lose it.
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The "maul" - like a ruck, but the ball-carrier is held up without going to ground, and teammates bind on and drive forwards together.
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Scrum - the restart after a knock-on or forward pass: forwards bind together and push for the ball.
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Lineout - the restart after the ball goes out over the side line ("touch"): players lift a teammate to catch the throw-in.
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Advantage - after an infringement, the ref often lets play carry on if the non-offending team is benefitting, rather than stopping immediately. You'll hear them call "advantage."
"Why has the ref blown the whistle?"
Nine times out of ten, it's one of these:
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A knock-on or forward pass
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A player offside (too far forward)
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Not releasing the ball or player after a tackle
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Going off their feet / hands in the ruck
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A high or dangerous tackle (player safety is taken very seriously)
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The ball going into touch (out of play)
"Why has the ref blown the whistle?"
This surprises almost every new parent.
Children's rugby is built up gradually (for safety, enjoyment and development) so the format changes as they grow.
In England (RFU Age Grade rugby):
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It starts gentle and gets bigger. Tiny teams, short games and no contact at the start, building step by step towards the full 15-a-side game in the early teens.
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U6: training only - non-contact, no matches. Just fun and first touches.
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U7-U8: tag and non-contact rugby. Small teams, short halves (around 10 minutes), and fun as the absolute priority.
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U9 onwards: contact can start to be introduced (gradually and safely) though children can also keep playing non-contact.
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As they progress (roughly U9-U12): team sizes, pitch sizes and playing time grow, and contact, scrums and lineouts are phased in bit by bit rather than all at once.
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Boys and girls play together up to U11. At U12 girls move into girls-only rugby.
Not keen on contact? T1 (non-contact) rugby is a recognised way to keep playing at any age.
A few other things worth knowing:
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Age groups go by school year - set by your child's age at 31 August at the start of the season.
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The "Half Game Rule": every child should get at least half of every game. No permanent benchwarmers.
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There are sensible limits on matches and minutes per day and per season to protect young players.
Always check your child's exact format with your club. Team sizes, pitch dimensions and which set-pieces apply at each age are reviewed every season - your coach will tell you precisely how your age group plays this year.
Safety is built into the design
Those gradual progressions exist for a reason - to keep children safe while they learn. The most important one to know: head injuries are taken extremely seriously. If in doubt, sit them out, and follow RFU HEADCASE guidance. (Our free Home Team parent packs go into safety, fuel, sleep and confidence in proper detail — grab those too.)
Five things that'll make you look like a natural on the touchline
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You can't pass forwards - so a "forward pass" stops play.
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A "knock-on" just means the ball went forwards off hands to the floor.
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"Offside" means someone was too far forward.
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A try is worth 5; the kick after is worth 2.
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Your child's game grows towards the full version year by year - what they play now is meant to be different.
Keep Going
Enjoyed this?
It's the first in our free Understanding the Game series for parents - with a plain English jargon decoder and a "what does each position do?" guide too.
And when you're ready to back your young player every week, FearLess Rugby sends a training pack built for their exact age group, every Friday at 4pm. Join our Founding 100 families and grab a free sample at www.fearlessrugby.com
Playing under a different union? This guide follows England RFU rules. If your club or player falls under Wales, Scotland, Ireland or another union - or you're overseas - the principles are the same but the detail differs. Drop us a line at thepack@fearlessrugby.com and we'll point you the right way.
This is FearLess Rugby's simplified, plain-English explainer to help parents enjoy the game. It is not official and is not affiliated with or endorsed by the RFU. For the official rules see RFU Regulation 15 (Age Grade Rugby), and always confirm your child's match format with your club. Current for the 2025/26 season.